You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
In my humble opinion, I do not fully agree with the statement. What I’m not disagree with is the number of five people to affect someone in which I personally think it’s too much. While you could get influenced by people who you interact with, however it’s not that easy and it takes time to change someone’s personality and habit in particular – especially when he/she holds tightly to several fundamental principles, values, and beliefs. Rather, one person – with whom you spend most of the time intensely and get interact with – is enough to change you to become a brand new person. As a phrase says, quality over quantity. The quality of interaction with someone is more impacting than the number of people who surround you. Furthermore, the extent of trust you have upon others also plays a role on their significance in affecting you.
We have two hands. They won’t be enough to shut people’s mouth up from talking about or putting us down, but they are enough to keep our ears from their words and go ahead with what we believe in and without any doubt.
Recently, I’ve been thinking all night and diving deeply into thought that someone (Significant Other, SO) who comes into your life could really turn you into a different person – particularly in terms of personality, habit, perspective towards life, attitude and motivation – by communicating and interacting intensely. The thing is, whether you change to be a better person or to be the worse one. The word ‘better’ refers to an improvement in good personality traits and habits, a motivation to do the good and the right things in accordance with what you believe to be a kindness and truth (at least for yourself).
I found you. But I lost myself.
Therefore, when your SO has some fundamental differences with your principles, beliefs, as well as something sacred that has absolute truth value for you and makes you lose yourself, meanwhile you find it’s extremely hard to change his/her characters for various reasons, it might be better to release or keep distance from him/her (in such a way), vice versa. What’s the point of finding someone but losing yourself, especially when you believe that you have known and tried to keep doing the truth and its principle – for instance, the truth sourced from your religion or beliefs, or the so-called ‘dogma’. Moreover, when you get what you truly want in life, you will know how to walk away when something is good, but not good enough.
On the other hand, you always have the chance to find someone without losing yourself, and once you have experienced this, you have found what you truly search for. When you meet the one who could support and make you stay in line with your identity and integrity.
Thus, if finding SO in a friendship or relationship makes you lose yourself, perhaps it’s time to rethink whether it’s better to keep and stay with your SO or to release and let go. If at the end of the day you find it is better to release and let go, you could do it by gradually reducing interaction with the SO. Remember that energy, vibe and habit are contagious. Hence, be thoughtful of your surroundings by being as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
“Bad company corrupts good character.”
Eventually and truthfully, deep inside your heart has already known the best choice and action for you to choose. Nonetheless, sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what your heart already knows. As Paulo Coelho says, If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
hope. 