Knowing the importance of self-acceptance as well as the urgency and benefit of having high self-acceptance leads to the next question: how could individuals practice and obtain such high self-acceptance? While the exact answer may vary and be individual-specific, there are several general ways to practice self-acceptance on a daily basis. At least, there are two concepts that could contribute to gaining high self-acceptance which might be applied to daily activities, namely self-awareness, and self-transcendence.
This post aims to discuss and describe the two concepts of self-awareness and self-transcendence including the ways that an individual could apply the concepts to improve self-acceptance, starting from physical tasks to mental and perspective treatments. However, narrowing the scope of discussion regarding the way to increase self-acceptance to be more specific, easy to understand and concise is necessary to keep the discussion on point. The methods of boosting self-acceptance in this discussion will be based on two main facets, namely internal and external facets. Self-awareness represents the internal facet, while self-transcendence indicates the external facet of the attempts to obtain full self-acceptance.
Firstly, from the internal facet, high self-acceptance could be obtained by focusing on himself/herself i.e. self-awareness which includes self-regulation. Self-awareness by definition means the ability to pay attention to oneself, and thus to self-evaluate (Silvia and O’Brien, 2004). This would make an individual comprehend a good knowledge about his/her own characters, feelings, motivations, and desires. Therefore, self-awareness includes monitoring self-stress, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It should be highlighted that self-awareness is a delicate balance of two different – probably even competing – viewpoints (Eurich, 2018). Moreover, Silvia and O’Brien (2004) suggest that people with low self-awareness may be unable to take the perspectives of others, practice self-control, exhibit creative accomplishments, or experience pride and high self-esteem.
Discussion regarding self-awareness could further be taken from two points of view, namely internal and external self-awareness (Eurich, 2018). Eurich suggests that people with high of both internal and external self-awareness – the so-called Aware – would show characteristics in which they know who they are, what they want to achieve, and look for and respect others’ opinions. On the contrary, those with low internal and external awareness – the so-called Seekers – would not know who they are, their stances, and how others see them. As a result, they would feel stuck with their performances as well as their relationships. The deficiency of self-acceptance could appear in disguise but it may still be differentiated with the sufficient one. For instance, an individual who does not accept or forgive himself/herself and hence he/she is still apart from the self and does not feel as solid as oneself is one example of lacking self-acceptance.
Self-awareness could be obtained by regularly meditating i.e. mindfulness and self-regulation. Meditation here involves many kinds of meditations, including religious rituals in order to accomplish peace of mind. It is a continuous spiritual growth journey. Furthermore, meditation could help in compressing negative emotions, e.g. self-hatred, and unnecessary overthinking, embracing shadow self, refocusing on the positive aspects of oneself, and adjusting the right attitudes toward any kind of circumstances so that an individual could see the opportunities and potentials in himself/herself, and hence could relieve stress as well as be more hopeful and passionate in each situation. Meditation teaches an individual to be kind to himself/herself and others, be forgiving, keep clarity and a positive mind, be tolerant to imperfection, and let go of negative emotions due to something taken personally. In addition, contemplation in meditation could encourage an individual to have more comprehensive self-knowledge. Good self-knowledge might further lead to self-compassion and could be guidance in taking steps in career, relationship, interests, and any other aspects of life.
Another way to boost self-awareness is through doing hobbies and interests. Embrace any kind of talent, hobby and interest could help to find every single side of oneself. For instance, exercising or doing sports are beneficial both physically and mentally. Physically, it helps maintain stamina, immune and metabolic systems as well as body healthy overall. While mentally, it trains someone to focus on the established target, have a strong and never-give-up-mentality, have confidence, and believe in self-capability. Other examples such as writing essays, poems, scientific articles, etc. Writing helps an individual to express ideas and emotions or feelings, encourage to explore and learn any kind of discussion topic and linguistic course, as well as capture each of his/her events and work as a personal record at the very least. Thus, knowing hobbies and interests, and doing it consistently could bring both manifest and latent benefits in terms of self-awareness, and build self-capacity and self-capability.
Secondly, from the external facet, high self-acceptance could be accomplished by applying self-transcendence – surprisingly, it is the forgotten Maslow’s highest level on the hierarchy of needs above the self-actualization. Self-transcendence exhibits a declining dependence on externals of oneself, raising interiority and spirituality, and a greater sense of connectedness with past and future generations (Levenson, et.al, 2005). Once an individual is self-transcendent, he/she becomes less dependent on things outside of the self to define himself/herself. Practically, it could be achieved by contributing to work, family, or society.
Furthermore, self-transcendence is associated with the rise above the self and related to that which is more formidable than the self. Concisely, it is the recognition and acknowledgment that the self is a small part of a greater whole, and acting and contributing correspondingly. That which is more formidable than the self could be in various terms including human beings in general, nature, the universe, divine power, etc.
“Transcendence refers to the very highest and most inclusive or holistic levels of human consciousness, behaving and relating, as ends rather than means, to oneself, to significant others, to human beings in general, to other species, to nature, and to the cosmos”
(Maslow, 1971, p. 269)
Wong (2017) suggests certain characteristics of self-transcendence people, including a switch in focus from the self to others which is a shifting of an individual from selfishness to consideration of the needs of others, a switch in values in which an individual is no longer get himself/herself driven by extrinsic incentive, or external rewards and expectations, yet by intrinsic reason (the gift for an activity is the activity itself), an increase in moral concern which leads an individual to have more vigorous regard on doing what is right, and the emotions of elevation such as awe, amazement, feeling uplifted, etc., which could be sparked by all previously described characteristics.
Moreover, several ways to practice self-transcendence in daily life could be done by doing meditation, self-empowering with knowledge and wisdom to raise awareness, embracing the spiritual and physical journey to find insight, and discovering self-spiritual methods that bring closer to individual’s life purpose and ideal self. Furthermore, self-transcendence could also be done through evoking realization of the present moment by practicing meditation and mindfulness, being more grateful instead of insecure, encouraging willingness to favor and help others voluntarily, and being more ethical in making a decision.
In conclusion, self-awareness and self-transcendence contribute to self-acceptance in a distinct way. Nevertheless, both concepts could help to unveil the obscure experienced by an individual in the spiritual and physical journey. Ultimately, it is worth noting one important thing in practicing self-acceptance, which is to be consistent. As the tweet above says, try to practice a thing (self-acceptance) a thousand times instead of practicing a thousand things once.
References
Big Think
Eurich, T. (January 4, 2018). What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). Harvard Business Review
Hall, K. (July 12, 2014). Self-Validation. Psychology Today
Levenson M., Jennings P., Aldwin C., and Shiraishi R. (2005). Self-transcendence: conceptualization and measurement. Int J Aging Hum Dev., 60(2):127-143. doi:10.2190/XRXM-FYRA-7U0X-GRC0
Maslow, A. H. (1971). The farther reaches of human nature. New York, NY, US: Arkana/Penguin Books.
Silvia, P. and O’Brien, M. (2004). Self-Awareness and Constructive Functioning: Revisiting “the Human Dilemma. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 23, No. 4, pp. 475-489. doi:10.1521/jscp.23.4.475.40307
Wong, P. (2017). From Viktor Frankl’s logo therapy to the four defining characteristics of self-transcendence. DrPaulWong.com.
hope. 
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