“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also“
According to Cambridge Dictionary, the idiom of ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ constitutes something that someone expresses to say that other people’s lives always seem to be in a better circumstance than his/her, although it may not be entirely true. It is also about an individual’s point of view with regards to other’s aspects of life in comparison to himself/herself and the propensity to think that what he/she possesses are not sufficient, that he/she should have a better condition, and thus may lead someone to constantly feel discontent, unhappy as well as never being fulfilled and satisfied. It is the way of thinking that someone’s life would be better if it were in different situations, i.e. the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’ phrases frequently appear in an individual’s mind. This issue could be reviewed from economic and psychological views in order to know further explanation concerning the issue, the determining factors, and the way to resolve the roots of the problem.
Firstly, from the economic view, the phenomenon of never being satisfied could be associated with consumer behavior property in microeconomics context, particularly the utility function of an individual which is further explained by an Indifference Curve (IC). An IC shifting to the upper-right shows more goods available to the consumer that might also be more preferable for someone, in accordance with the assumption of monotonic preferences in which more amount of combination of goods means higher utility (level of satisfaction) for the individual. An IC is graphed to be convex to the origin, which means it is possible for the IC to have infinite shifts to the upper right, to an infinite amount of combination of goods. This might reflect the basic trait of humans that, if not be controlled, is never feel satisfied with some things and will desire for more of the things. People would generally want more of some things as they have the preference of more is preferable than less, while it may not always be true to some extent, since in reality, some assumptions in the theory are not prevailing as well as many unknown determining factors impacting human behaviors, e.g. human is not always rational all the time in all circumstances.
Moreover, some previous studies reveal that individuals’ preferences are more in terms of relative than absolute, and indicate the depiction of the idiom ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’. For instance, Samuelson (2004) suggests that preference shows relative consumption effects when an individual’s satisfaction with their own consumption is influenced by other’s decisions on how much they consume. Moreover, Hillesheim and Mechtel (2012) explain that preferences with respect to some goods might not be monotone which means that consuming more of certain goods might not enhance utility due to various reasons and determinants. However, in relation to the phenomenon of status-seeking behavior, some individuals do compare themselves to their relatives, i.e. with regards to the consumption levels of certain goods, in order to establish their individual position in the community. Furthermore, they find that relative consumption effects might explain for preferring less amount in the case of some goods, while it could not be a good explanation in the case for certain other goods. This might be caused by non-monotonic preferences in which more does not necessarily imply more preferable than less.
Using a specific set of goods, Alpizar et al. (2005) examine numerous private goods in their survey, namely cars, housing, insurance, and vacation. They suggest that cars and housing are more positional than insurance and vacation in the context of an individual position in the community, i.e. higher value and higher relative standing in society. The result is further explained in accordance with the tangibility of the consumption of goods in relation to status in the society. This could be an indication that some people, given sufficient resources, would more prefer to have a more of certain tangible things than intangible ones, as well as having less of those tangible things, as they are widely considered to have a higher value in society.
The concept of relative income preferences is also investigated by Tversky and Griffin (1991) by asking subjects’ preferences amid a condition. The condition is set up into two choices: Working for magazine A where they earn $35,000, while their colleagues receive $38,000, or working for Magazine B pays them $33,000, with others earning $30,000. The result shows significant shares of participants who more prefer working for magazine B, trading off higher absolute income for the sake of higher relative income to their colleagues within the firm. In addition, Johansson-Stenman et al. (2002) study reveals that their participants in the survey care about relative income, but they are also could be classified as inequality averse, in which they choose to live in a society where they are better off than the average person, but also unveil a certain threshold of tolerable income inequality.
Secondly, from the psychological view, as mentioned above, there is a term associated with the idiom, that is the Grass is Greener Syndrome, which is marked by the idea that there is always something or someone better whcih an individual loses. The feeling of instability, insecurity, and dissatisfaction in the present environment could occur for an individual with the syndrome in any life aspect such as relationships, careers, net worth, neighborhood, etc. The primary factor of the syndrome is usually based on fantasy (of ideal life) and fear, according to a clinical psychologist. The fear sourced from several possibilities, including unpleasant past experiences that produce fear of being trapped in commitment, boredom, loss of individuality or privacy, oppression, and so forth. When the sources of the syndrome get triggered and exacerbated, it might lead an individual to the perception (or fantasy) that there is something or someone else out there which would enable him/her to have all that he long for, crave, want, and put a high value.
Knowing that the grass is greener issue has multi aspects which could make it complex, reminiscing a regular nostalgic and euphoric memories are also considered as significant contributors to deteriorating this issue. The impressive memories could create an ideal image of what someone chasing after with respect to certain aspects. This would often lead an individual with the issue to have a quest for the deemed appropriate relationship, career, wealth, neighborhood, social peer, etc. as great as possible. The grass is greener syndrome might bias someone’s perspective upon the current circumstances – even it may be adequate enough – onto unfulfilled and unsatisfied, while in fact, each people have their own endowment, timeline, background, and life path which could not be equated and uniformed with each other. However, it further could lead to an ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality in ‘the grass is greener’ syndrome vicious cycle, which leaving individual with this syndrome not realizing and appreciating what has been achieved, accomplished, and received.
Furthermore, another source suggests that humans inherit psychological mechanisms from ancestors as a result of adaptive ways to survive from resource scarcity in such a way that they tend to seek for more and more, and never satisfied to gain and gather more of those resources as well as to monitor and compare the resources of others – thus, internal factor from the biological aspect might also contribute to the syndrome as well. Individual experiencing ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ is generally (if not always) putting personal or internal dissatisfaction with the self onto something outside the self, such as partner, career, neighborhood, materialistic wealth, etc.
On the other hand, external factors e.g. social media as the advanced technology making it easier to access and monitor others’ resources could also be a significant contributor to ‘the grass is greener’ syndrome. Particularly, people with a perceived or deemed choice as mentioned previously – the view that the individual might possibly be better off by having someone or something else, being in another circumstance, which are the initial drivers of the syndrome could further be fueled by social media through the presentation of idealistic but not realistic views of people, backgrounds, and circumstances. For instance, the perfect life, picture, job, food, vacation, relationship, and so forth that are depicted or posted on social media are often beautified or inaccurate.
The consequences raised by ‘the grass is greener’ syndrome might appear in many forms. The syndrome often obscure one’s focus on the related aspect of life in the current time and circumstance and creates an imbalance between rational thinking and emotional maturity. Other main consequences of the issue are unhappiness and dissatisfaction for the individual who suffers from it, which in turn could disrupt the mental health as well as deter someone to live the life up to the potential level.
Therefore, several means could be implemented to prevent someone from suffering ‘the grass is greener’ syndrome, or if it already happened, to overcome the issue from both economic and psychological view. From economic view, an outstanding Advanced Microeconomics Lecture from a well-known state university in Indonesia once explain during the course, that one way to prevent someone from being greedy, corrupt, or dissatisfied, is through setting personal ends goals to achieve. It is associated with the property of IC, one of which including convex to origin that in practice might be reflected by the desire of an individual to consume more and more, given adequate resources, since more is preferable than less. To prevent such an issue, he suggests that an individual should make personal ends goals consist of anything to achieve so that the IC would be concave to origin, and hence control his/her unending desire towards things. It also means that the goals are the tangible outcomes someone willing to achieve, e.g. a number of liquid assets, fixed assets, and /or a given job title. It is expected that once the goals are achieved, the individual would be less tempted to justify any means to fulfill the ‘illusion’. The end goals are his/her ultimate destinations which could reflect one’s personal values and thus, by accomplishing ongoing purposes, not only someone is gaining happiness and satisfaction from within, he/she could feel at ‘equilibrium’.
Furthermore, from psychological view, in essence, the methods are based on the same underlying principle that instead of seeking to move to or chase after the seemingly better pastures, try growing and nurturing the grass in the own fields. The methods to overcome the syndrome including but not limited to: putting proactive effort to be more focused on the present and cherish the moment, gaining self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, focusing attention on self-interests and strengths, affirming self-confidence, focusing on developing skills and talent (since the grass is greenest where it is watered), accepting reality and expressing gratitude. With regards to the latter method, Witvliet et al. (2019) study reveals that gratitude plays a crucial role in both approaches to someone’s hope and happiness. They suggest that at the state level, reminiscing to a past similar hope that was fulfilled and pondering on the reason and to whom one is grateful could promote an increasing experience of hope and of happiness which in turn could be a good input for the person in the mental health context.
As a closure, it is worth noting that the term ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ could be viewed from at least two perspectives, economic and psychological views. Both views pointing out the same underlying issue that causes some people to feel dissatisfied and desire more of some things while their own current life may be in a well-being condition yet underappreciated by themselves. The issue of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ syndrome could bring negative impacts for someone suffering from it, particularly the impact for mental health. Therefore, some means could be applied in order to prevent or overcome the syndrome that mostly comes from oneself commitment and self-control as well as planning upon his/her life goals. As the phrase is mainly regarding individual perspective upon own life in comparison to others, it might be better to shift the perspective from ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ to ‘the grass is only as green as we nurture it’, or alternatively ‘it is just different type of grass’.
References
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Kunst, J. (27 July 2011). Mythbuster: The Grass Is Not Always Greener on the Other Side. Retrieved 23 December 2020 from Mythbuster: The Grass Is Not Always Greener on the Other Side | Psychology Today
Samuelson, L. (2004). Information-Based Relative Consumption Effects. Econometrica, 72(1), 93-118.
Tversky, A. and Griffin, D. (1991). Endowment and contrast in judgments of wellbeing in Richard Zeckhauser, ed. Strategy and choice, Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, pp. 297–319.
Van der Lug, T. (29 January 2017). Retrieved 28 November 2020 from Why the grass is NEVER greener on the other side | by Teun van der Lugt | Medium
Witvliet, vanOyen, C., Richie, F., Root, L. and Van Tongeren, D. (2019). Gratitude predicts hope and happiness: A two-study assessment of traits and states. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 14(3), 271–282. doi:10.1080/17439760.2018.1424924
hope. 